The First Blog Post
Hey, thanks for taking the time out of your probably boring day to read this really funny amazing blog. Do me a favor and tell your friends about it, tell them to tell their friends about it and so on and so forth.
Why would anyone start a blog in today’s world that isn’t about recipes, porn, or fashion? Well who said it wasn’t about porn? Ha. That was a dumb joke, worst joke you will read on here I promise. The catalyst behind this blog and the book that will be coming out in the spring of 2017 is my nephew Mel. He is an actual genius but his parent’s want him to have a “normal” childhood. So instead of already being in college or working for NASA he just spends his time doing things that are funny and kind of crazy. He is six years old but normally acts more like a grownup than I do.
I’m a photographer and a writer and sometimes online I pretend to be a
bodybuilder named Juan Carlos who is constantly trying to trade pictures of his pecs (and by "his pecs" I mean pictures of pecs I have found online) for boob pics. You would be surprised by how many women aren’t interested in trading boob pics for pec pics, although the number of gay dudes who are willing to google pics of boobs to trade for pec pics is extremely high. If I had a $100,000 for every time I have been catfished, I would be a very rich man.
Anyway this blog will simply be a bunch of funny things that Mel has done, perhaps photographs from any photoshoots I do, and anything else funny or cool that I decide to post. Oh I’m not a grammar Nazi so if you don’t like the structure of a sentence or the placement of a comma please please tell me about it so that I can research everything there is to know about you and then spend the rest of my existence making you wish that you had an evil genius nephew who would torture strangers online just because you told him to (yes I know that is a run-on sentence, that was the joke!!).
There are a few things you need to know about Mel. He is a very smart kid and most of the time he is a pretty good kid. However, he is extremely prejudiced against all short people, almost all poor people unless then are extremely tall
(though he does contend that he has never seen a really tall poor person), and all French males. Oh and those who would stoop to any sort of job that is over 47% “physical labor.” Although Mel does claim that almost all of these jobs are done by short people or poor people and therefore shouldn’t count as a separate category.
As we all know there are certain groups of people from specific areas or regions of the world who typically happen to be of a below average height or, if they immigrate to this country, may find themselves working at a job that does fall in the above 47% physical labor category. And while Mel assures me that he has never had a prejudiced thought about someone based on their race, he does still find anyone in the above categories extremely sad and a bit repulsive. Although I did find it odd that after visiting New York City with me for a photoshoot he decided that driving a cab counted as physical labor.
I have questioned my sister (his mother) about where these thoughts might have stemmed from or why she allows him to act in such a manner. She simply stated that he is much smarter than the both of us and therefore maybe he has a point. This is the kind of mother she is, oh that and she likes to start off the day with some wine in her cereal. I’m kidding I’m kidding, she doesn’t have cereal… only wine.
I’ll be attempting to release a new blog post every Mondayish so check back tomorrow! And then every Monday after that.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
(All my pics will have a watermark all other pictures without them aren't mine)